My Brain on Overwhelm

It’s been hard to get around to posting because I have been overwhelmed lately with Things To Do. For the most part, they are things I want to do, but there are just so many. A short post on overwhelm seems to be in order, if only to remind myself how to handle it.

I could give you a list of steps or insights on how to handle overwhelm, but Ali Davies really nailed it when she pointed out in The Hidden Cause of Feeling Overwhelmed that it’s always best to look at the root cause of a problem, and in the case of our feelings, the root cause is always a thought.

After revisiting her post, I’ve been trying to identify what the thoughts are that are making me feel so overwhelmed. Here are a few I’ve come up with:

• I am the General Manager of the Universe, so I’m responsible for making sure everything that could ever need to be done does in fact get done…and, most likely, by me.
• If I don’t keep up with what everyone is doing and stay visible all the time, I will become irrelevant.
• I can juggle three very different and time-intensive income streams, spend time with my family here and 2,000 miles away, and have time to relax and live an adventurous life, all while looking better at 50 than I did at 40.
• I could come up with more, but just those three have me so overwhelmed that my brain is malfunctioning.

So. I’ve unconsciously been feeding myself a bunch of lies.

The truth is that it is not our lives or our work that overwhelms us. We overwhelm ourselves with unreasonable expectations.

What now?

I need new thoughts.

• I am happy to contribute as time and energy allow.
• It’s okay for me to ask for help. People like to help.
• Facebook has proven that even after not hearing from you for 30+ years, people still remember and like you and welcome you back into their lives.
• It’s okay and desirable to go underground for a while when you’re working on creative projects that require your focus and attention.
• Spending time on things that restore me (like my family, relaxation, etc.) gives me the energy I need to tend to all the many facets of my life while staying healthy. (Thanks to Carole Jane Treggett and Charlotte Rains Dixon for the reminder on that one.)

Your Turn

How about you? If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, what thoughts are causing that? What thoughts can you choose to think instead?

Besides expanding my vocabulary (FYI, liminal means at a threshold or transitional stage), Patti got me thinking about why we sometimes hesitate to make changes that we think we want. We dream of becoming a published author, taking an adventurous trip or quitting a job to start a business, but when the time comes to take action on it, we balk.

Usually people attribute their hesitation to fear, typically either fear of failure or fear of success. No doubt those are valid explanations a lot of the time. But I’d like to suggest another possibility: dreaming may simply seem more fun than doing the work necessary to realize your dream.

While we imagine what our dream project might be like, all things are possible. It can turn out exactly the way we hope, if we’re experiencing it all in the comfort of our armchair. Oh, the fun to be had doing research, jotting ideas and fantasizing about realizing our creative potential! It’s cheaper, too, and leaves plenty of time for surfing the internet.

And then comes the time to take those first real steps and…hmm…is this really what I want to do? Do I really want to work that hard? What if I do all this stuff to realize my dream, and it turns out I don’t really like it that much after all? Didn’t that happen to me with that kid Gary I had that devastating crush on in high school? What a loser he turned out to be!

Yes, my friends, if you have in mind a truly inspiring project, chances are you’re going to have to alter your behavior in a pretty significant way to make it come true. If that weren’t the case, you would have already done it by now, right?

So. Will it be worth all that effort? And how can you possibly know in advance?

You can’t.

But this you can know:

Dedicating yourself to making the changes necessary to follow through on your creative dream will absolutely result in the following benefits to your life:

You will increase your self-confidence by doing things you weren’t sure you could do.

You will feel more fulfilled, because hard work is very satisfying (at least afterward).

You will become more interesting and attractive. People who are trying new things and pushing past their old limitations are fascinating to talk to and draw people to them.

You will develop better problem-solving skills as you overcome the inevitable hurdles.

You will have more self-respect. Not acting on their creative dreams leads people to question themselves and call themselves names (like chicken, lazy, procrastinator, etc.)

You will grow in resourcefulness as you follow your dream to places you haven’t gone before.

Your patience, perseverence and focus will improve. All creative work requires these traits, and the more you practice them, the stronger they’ll become.

You will learn to detach from the outcomes you desire as forces beyond your control have their way with your project.

These are the benefits gained from creative work, whether you end up liking what comes of your efforts or not.

So should you go for it?

YES!

Your Turn

Let me know in the comments if this rings true to you.

Have you ever hesitated to follow through on your dreams because it simply felt too hard?

Have you found ways to make the effort and challenge involved in creative work feel more manageable?

Have you ever followed through on a long-held dream only to discover it wasn’t that great after all?

Okay, you already knew that. But you may not have thought about the its implications.

How about this…instead of resolving to do something differently in 2012, try doing things the same way — but only certain things. Resolve to do more of the things that have been working for you or to apply what has worked to new situations.

One of the most powerful questions I use as a coach when helping a client overcome an obstacle is, “What has worked in the past?” The client almost invariably has been in a similar, if not the exact same, situation and figured out something that worked. We just forget what we already know until someone asks us!

For my part, I resolve to continue the following strategies that have been working very well for me:

• Giving myself permission to only do a little, so I don’t resist starting.
• Focusing on what I have accomplished, rather than what I haven’t.
• Focusing on what went right, rather than what went wrong.
• Approaching scary stuff as an experiment and any unpleasant results as useful data.
• Trusting that things will fall into place if I keep taking action.

I can apply these strategies to whatever I want. They are tried and true, and if I resolve to do those things when pursuing the many goals I’ll have in the coming year, I’m sure to succeed.

Your Turn

What has worked for you in the past? How can you apply it in different aspects of your life this year? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Latte art by INeedCoffee

Instead of being a season of peace and joy, this time of year can feel rather frenzied. Between extra social engagements (or the lack thereof), holiday shipping deadlines, shorter days and heightened marketing assaults, it’s easy to get as frothy as the pumpkin spice lattes they’re serving at Starbucks right now.

Some of this is inevitable and comes from our social environment, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed and pressured right now, take a look at how you might be adding to the froth.

Are you setting unrealistic or unnecessarily high expectations for yourself right now?

If you celebrate Christmas, are you wanting the day to be perfect or trying to find the perfect gift for someone?

Are you telling yourself that you need to have all your ducks in a row so you can start 2012 with a bang?

Are you feeling like you’ll turn into a pumpkin by a certain date, like December 25 or January 1, just to pull a couple out of a hat, if you haven’t accomplished X, Y and Z?

Are you putting pressure on the new year to make big changes?

Take a few minutes to consider these questions. Or pull up a pumpkin spice latte and a journal and write out your thoughts about this.

Give yourself the gift of lowered expectations this holiday season. Breathe.

There is no deadline for experiencing peace, joy, love or personal growth.

Photo by Christian Haugen

As a creativity coach, this is a topic that is especially dear to my heart. My work revolves around supporting others in creating, rather than just consuming. A certain level of consumption is, of course, necessary, but have you considered how your level of material consumption can affect your creative output?

Let me count the ways…

1. Buying a lot of stuff can create stress around money.

If you’re a writer, artist or budding entrepreneur who wants to spend more of your life engaged in creative projects that thrill you, having credit card debt hanging over your head is a sure-fire way to squeeze the enthusiasm out of any task that is not likely to be income-producing. That’s not a good kind of pressure to put on your creative work.

2. Many of the most popular holiday purchases are items that can squander precious time.

Let’s face it…most of the things people are purchasing during this spending season will either not get used much at all or will turn into time sucks. Time spent downloading apps for your new Kindle Fire is time you’re not creating.

3. High material consumption reinforces our desire for immediate gratification.

In our creative work, patience is critical. It may take years of practice to develop the skill to make good on your best creative ideas. And while there’s an initial excitement when beginning a creative project, persistence is required to see it through to completion.

By seeking satisfaction in the quick thrill of a new toy, it’s easy to lose sight of all that we gain by working deliberately, staying the course for an extended time, and savoring the process along the way.

4. Consumerism feeds the Comparison Monster.

One of the most powerful creativity killers is comparing your work to the work of others. So often, the sensitive creative spirit will see what others are doing and feel they come up short or that their ideas have already been done. It’s easy to grow discouraged and procrastinate or quit.

To keep your creative flame burning, it’s best to disengage from the comparison game as much as possible. Buying the latest gadgets and following trends can draw you in to that feeling of competition and not measuring up.

5. Having more material resources available can lead to reduced innovation.

Years ago, at a Pampered Chef party, I was amazed at all the different tools that have been invented for very specific food preparation tasks. You can buy a mushroom slicer, spaghetti stirrer, avocado peeler or mango wedger. Hello? Have they never heard of a knife, fork or spoon?

The more resources we have available, the less we need to problem-solve. Necessity is the mother of invention because it’s only when something is missing or lacking that we need to innovate and create something new. If our every whim is easily satisfied with something we just bought at Target, the capacity to develop new ideas can diminish.

6. Having a lot of material possessions can encourage perpetual busyness, which can distract you from the observation and reflection creativity requires.

At a recent doctor visit, if I’d had a smartphone, I would have been using it to work while I waited for the doctor. Instead, I overcame my boredom by taking mental notes about dialogue snippets and sensory details of the experience that I can use in my writing.

Having nothing to do but watch and wonder about the world around you can be just what the Muse ordered.

6 1/2. Material belongings can shield us from the inspiration of our shadow side.

This is really a variation on #6 and the idea that our toys distract us from our inner thoughts. In this case, they allow us to disengage from feelings like guilt, anger, sadness and resentment, emotions that, while uncomfortable, can inspire great works of art. How many songs would be left on your MP3 player if I asked you to delete all the songs about unrequited love?

A Challenge for You

I’m not suggesting you have to live like a monk in order to fulfill your creative intentions. But your creative practice will benefit from more mindfulness about your consumption habits.

This holiday season, take a stand in favor of lower consumption and more creativity in your gift-giving practice.

When making a purchase for yourself or others, ask, “How will this support the journey to a more creative and fulfilling life?”

Some pro-creativity gift ideas:

• Buy gifts that encourage creativity in the user, like art supplies or writing tools.
• Give the gift of a creative class.
• Make a homemade gifts. If you don’t think this will fly in your circles, think of at least one person you think would appreciate it and do it for them.
  
• Give a ticket or coupon for an outing to a museum, play or other performance.
• Support an artist and do your holiday shopping at places like Etsy.
• Join the Simplify the Holidays Challenge sponsored by the Center for a New American Dream.

Other Angles on Consumerism

Be sure to visit  the bloggers who are joining me in writing on this topic today:

Carole Jane Treggett, Merry Debt-Free Holidays: How to Spend Less and Create More Meaning and Value This Year

Sarah O’Leary, Foster Wellness In Your Community: Shop Local and Independent This Holiday Season

Kathy Sprinkle, The Green Christmas Inquiry – 8 ways to Celebrate with Mother Earth’s Blessing

And here’s a related post by Amy Clover: The 4 Commitments: Avoid Holiday Overload

Your Turn

What kinds of impacts does material consumption have on your creative practice ?

What ideas do you have for promoting creativity in your gift giving this year?

Do you sell a product or service that helps others live a more creative and fulfilling life? Feel free to leave a link to your site so we can send you some business!

I have to admit that I am geeking out on this 11/11/11 thing.

Although, as a Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach, I specialize in creativity, which is considered a largely right-brain specialty, I am actually very whole-brained and can really rock a calculator. So my mathematical mind is in eleventh heaven today.

Focusing on the significance of this date has me thinking about the past and future. 11/11/11 happens only once every 100 years. In case you’re mathematically challenged, that means the last time it happened was in 1911.

Think about what has happened in that 100 years. You can visit www.HistoryOrb.com to see some of the major events that happened in 1911. They’re things like the first photo was taken from an airplane, the first US group insurance policy was written, an audience threw vegetables at actors for the first recorded time, and the Supreme Court dissolved Standard Oil for violating the Sherman Antitrust Act (okay, maybe not that much has really changed).

With all that’s going on in the world now, would throwing tomatoes even warrant being noted? Life was certainly simpler back then!

In 1911, no one had yet conceived of the show “Friends,” let alone the people who created it, let alone the thousand billion episodes that now show up on your television fourteen times a day. And that’s just one show.

Think of all the books, works of art, clothing designs, buildings, songs, games, videos, dances, plays, tweets, podcasts and government programs created during that time.

Think of all the creative energy that took us from the last 11/11/11 to today. Billions of people woke up each day and took small steps toward realizing ideas that began only in their minds. Sometimes they worked alone and sometimes together.

And each piece built on the next, moment after moment, day after day, and year after year, for 100 years. The amount of creative work accomplished in that time is staggering and, truly, incomprehensible.

Okay, now let’s fast-forward to 2111. Hmm. Could be horrifying, or maybe we will have transformed the world into a peaceful, equitable and sustainable society. Or, more likely, something in between.

But whatever it looks like, the world will have certainly been transformed by our collective creativity and the compounded effect of billions of people showing up to create things day after day.

So where does your creative work fit into all this? Will the work you’re doing today even matter in 2111?

Who knows?

I do know that thinking back over the last 100 years gives us a dramatic demonstration of the amount of work that can be accomplished with small steps over time. This is the Japanese principle of kaizen, and it inspires me every day.

Whatever creative work you do today is enough, as long as tomorrow there will be more, and the next day and the next.

Over time, you’ll amass a large body of work, the quality and sophistication will continually improve, and your personal creative culture will transform.

And added to your contributions will be the contributions of 7 billion others.

Mind blowing.

Make time for your creative work, even if you only do a little. Then just keep doing that.

Your Turn

When in your creative work have you seen the impact of a series of small steps over time?

How do you envision your creative projects fitting into the larger picture of human creative evolution over the next 100 years?

(Okay, that may not be an appropriately sized question for a blog comment, but what an awesome topic for a journal entry or a blog post of your own!)

Please scroll down and share your thoughts in the comments!

Like four years ago, when I forfeited half my teaching income for the promise of self-employment, and I immediately got hit with a $170 speeding ticket I could not afford, after 15 years ticket-free.

Or like today, when I’ve resolved to get more sleep as part of C.A. Kobu and Sandi Amorim’s 66 Days self-care program, and my son uncharacteristically woke up at 4:00 a.m. and never went back to sleep (or allowed me to).

Does that kind of stuff seem to happen to you, too?

Well, here’s the deal. That’s crap.

When we try to make a change in our lives, we resist. For our ancient ancestors, that made good sense because the stakes were so high on the African plains that doing anything other than what you knew was safe was playing dice with the future of the species. Our minds are still programmed to resist change, even when it may actually be in our best interest.

One of the ways we sometimes resist is by seeing ourselves as a victim of circumstances.

“Maybe I can’t be self-employed after all because the Universe is clearly sending a message that I can’t afford it.”

“Maybe I can’t get more rest and follow through on my exercise commitment tomorrow because my son has thrown a wrench in my plans.”

These are just thoughts that my resistant brain made up to try to keep me in the same place. They’re not true. The Universe didn’t stop me from doing anything. Neither did my son.

Apparently every 15 years, I get a speeding ticket, and this one happened to coincide with my forfeiting tens of thousands of dollars in guaranteed income. There is no meaning to that coincidence unless I assign some meaning to it.

And my son does, on fairly rare occasion, cause me to lose sleep. It just happened to coincide today with my new resolve to get more sleep and exercise. The implication that I need to bail on my plans was completely invented by me.

I am not a victim of my circumstances. Yes, things will happen that can undermine my plans, but only if I let them.

Back when I got that speeding ticket, my resolve was strong enough to see through the victim story and instead use the incident to increase my resolve. I changed the meaning I assigned to that event to, “Having to pay this ticket will demonstrate that I am still financially resilient.”

This morning, after my resistance immediately went to, “Now I can’t exercise, and my day is ruined,” I changed the meaning to, “This is a perfect demonstration of why I love self-employment. I can take a nap later if I need one. Meanwhile, I’m going to go ahead and exercise at whatever level I’m able to with the energy I have.”

When you embark upon a long-term creative journey like writing a book, starting a business or redesigning your life, you can be certain that things will happen that might derail you from your intentions. Whether they do get you off track has nothing to do with fate and everything to do with the meaning you give events.

Your Turn

Is there something in your life right now that feels like it’s trying to foil your creative intentions? If you’re feeling like a victim, how can you take charge of the situation and reframe its meaning?

I’d love to read your comments about the obstacles you’re up against . What are your first thoughts, fed to you by your resistance, and what can you choose to think instead?

Photo by rocketjim54

The demon I’m battling right now is indecision. As Indecision, I’d need some extra hands. As in “on the one hand, but on the other hand…and then on the OTHER hand…”

I’d need some sort of straitjacket for my brain and blinders for my eyes, so my thinking would be limited and I couldn’t see possibilities.

I’d have a nice white picket fence on which to sit.

Perhaps a cozy cushion on the fence…a safe and comfortable place I’m hesitant to leave.

Maybe I’d be strapped to the fence by a chain originating in the fear center of my brain.

I’d somehow incorporate a turntable, so I could go around and around and around, never getting anywhere.

How would you dress as one of your inner demons? Have fun with this and give us your description in the comments.

There are lots of inner demons to choose from: procrastination, self-sabotage, perfectionism, resistance, fear of failure, fear of success, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, lack of focus, feelings of inadequacy, and many others. Pick your fave!

Then take the playful, imaginative spirit you conjured up for this game and allow it to inspire enjoyment of your creative work instead of letting the demons spoil your fun.

After a long hot, dry spell last summer, rain came. I live in the high desert of western Colorado, so any rain is cause for celebration, but this time it was especially welcome. We’d come to expect the infamous “oppressive” heat day after day, and gray skies, cool temperatures and pouring rain made us feel like we had been set free.

When they heard the wet drumbeat on the roof, my son and his friend dashed outside. I squelched the urge to call after them about not coming back inside in their wet clothes and sitting on the couch, or making the floor slippery, or whatever other horror a couple of drenched little boys could produce.

My husband and I watched them out the window as they jumped in puddles and floated sticks in the small river forming on the edge of the road.

“We’re not going to let them do that all by themselves, are we?” he asked.

“No, we’re not,” I said, and soon the whole family was dancing in the street, soaking wet and fully dressed.

Photo by Daniel Jordahl

For a while, I had stopped doing stuff like that.

If Creativity were a superhero, its nemesis would be Inhibition.

It occurred to me that perhaps being uninhibited could be practiced.

When I sat down to do creative work, I hoped something brilliant and original would flow out of me. Then I would start to work and feel wrapped up like a mummy. My body would get tight, and Inhibition moved in.

Could this be at least partly because I allowed my normal state to be uptight? Maybe my self-expression muscle was simply out of shape.

What if I purposely set out to do uninhibited things every day? The regular practice of things like singing, dancing, splashing, jumping and just being silly might help me produce a more uninhibited state on demand.

As I’d continually added responsibilities to my life (read: job, home ownership, parenthood, eldercare), I’d become more and more serious and inhibited. My joyful and creative self was locked up most of the time, and when I tried to release it, it often shrank in the corner, asking, “Are you sure it’s okay to come out?”

What do you think? What do you see as the connection between inhibition when doing creative work and being uptight in the rest of your life? Do you think being uninhibited can be developed through practice?